Love, Forbidden...

Lips parted, legs apart

I lie in bed sleepless

My mind is sound

And my heart beats

I'm in love again

Thoughts of him fill my head

And my body tingles at the thought of his kisses

And the warmth of his breathe on my neck

I feel his heart beat rapidly as his arms hold me close

So close I never wanna let go

I hear him whispering

I love you

I've loved you and I'm not letting you go

My back archs

My legs open wider

A gasp escapes from my parted lips

As his warmth fills me

How can I not want it

My desires and my imaginations are a tangled mess

Like a chemistry experiment gone wrong

My longing will drive me mad

If I do not wake up from this alternate reality I have singularly created

I want him. All of him. How could I not?

He is everything.

He is the dream and he should be mine

It's the feeling of his fingers in my hair

The gentle yet sure stroking

It's rythm is relaxing

It speaks peace and my eyes shut for a moment

I groan silently in ectasy

Praying there's no end to this lil heaven

It's his fingers locked in mine

Telling me a different story

Telling me I'm his. 

And I believe it. 

I want more, so much more

How can I not?

Would you not want more?...

I missed you

His words not mine

I admit I'm at the thin line

That crosses between fairy tales and reality.

But his words are real. I hear them

And it echoes a million times more

For every echo a beat, a pulse

Then time stands still but for a moment

I missed you too. Did I say it out loud?

I must have screamed it in my head in a thousand different emotions.

All true all honest. All so confusing.

Were his words true or have I imagined them? 

Can you tell? I can't or maybe I don't want to.

The thump thump thump in my chest

Tells me I'm in trouble

I have fallen hard and I cannot get up

I recall conversations never had

I remember words never said

Messages never received

My brain is playing tricks on me

Or is it my heart? It's all hazy and I'm unsure.

Someone is pulling my strings and pulling it hard knowing I'll hurt

To be in love is euphoric

But to be in love all by yourself is torture.

I'm awake now. 

I stare at the crooked line on the wall

Then it passes

And my heart slows 

I love him this much is true

And yet I'm alone

He doesn't love me

For this my heart is broken

And the pain is real as the tears flow

There is a wrenching in my soul

The truth like a conscience hits me hard 

Knocks me out for a moment.

There will be nothing you see

Between my love and me

The kisses and deep hugs

The whispers and warm caresses

The delectable scent of his presence

Are nothing but fantasies of a love forbidden

Debbie Ubaru

July 21st 2021